The 1990s were a prime decade for romantic comedies. When Harry Met Sally…, Pretty Woman, Sleepless in Seattle…the list goes on. Not only that, but it was also a strong era for wedding movies, like My Best Friend's Wedding, Four Weddings and a Funeral, and Runaway Bride. But what all those films had in common (besides starring Julia Roberts in 50% of them) was a focus on white hetero characters.
Taiwanese director Ang Lee boldly chose to integrate new perspectives with a predominantly East Asian cast in his 1993 film, The Wedding Banquet. Starring Winston Chao as Wai-Tung, a gay Taiwanese man in a long-term relationship with a white New Yorker named Simon (Mitchell Lichtenstein), the rom-com is an entertaining farce that combines Eastern and Western cultures into what turned out to be a surprise critical and box office hit, garnering several awards and nominations. However, there is an element that doesn't quite stand the test of time.
At the film’s start, Wai-Tung lives and works in Manhattan, while back home in Taiwan, his parents attempt to persuade him to marry and produce grandchildren, thus preserving the legacy of the Gao family name. Burdened by his only-child position in the family and the expectations of his traditional parents, Wai-Tung has not come out to his aging father (Lung Sihung) and mother (Gua Ah-leh) about his sexuality. Simon accepts his partner’s reluctance to come clean to his parents with grace, but when Wai-Tung’s ex-military father has a stroke, the pressure for Wai-Tung to find a wife increases.
Meanwhile, poor but pretty Wei-Wei (May Chin) is a Taiwanese-expat and artist living in Wai-Tung’s derelict industrial building. She is about to pack up and leave America after losing her job, when Simon suggests that Wai-Tung marries Wei-Wei to get his parents off his back and to ensure the desperate young woman gets a green card. Things spin quickly out of hand when Wai-Tung’s parents, delighted by the news of their son’s engagement, fly to Manhattan for the wedding, crash at the gay couple’s home, and force the scrambling threesome to play out a completely false living situation to maintain their illusion.
The arrival of Mr and Mrs Gao sparks the farcical East-meets-West culture clash at the centre of The Wedding Banquet as Wai-Tung tries to make his elderly parents happy while also trying to send them back home as quickly as he can. The pinnacle of this conflict is shown when, after a hasty wedding at city hall is followed by a dour dinner at “the best Chinese restaurant in Manhattan” (which features an almost empty dining room – always a bad sign), the Gaos are spotted by a fellow Taiwanese ex-pat and restaurateur, who extolls Wai-Tung’s father’s greatness as a commander and chastises the younger man for not honouring his parents with a proper wedding. He gifts the Gaos an extravagant banquet at his own venue, out of respect for Mr Gao, his previous superior officer.
Suddenly, Wai-Tung’s lie plays at a much bigger scale, in front of hundreds of guests. Thus, every wedding custom, Eastern and Western, needs to be integrated, from the big white dress to the sleek red qipao. Among the Taiwanese/Chinese ones are moments like receiving a blessing while kneeling in front of the parents, spoon-feeding soup to the bride, bestowing pure gold heirlooms, using lots of red decorations, having a little boy jump on the wedding bed (so that the couple will have a son), and, of course, playing mah-jong. By the end of the night, Mr and Mrs Gao go home happy with the attention they’ve received at the extravagant nuptials.
The titular banquet shows a fundamental difference between Eastern and Western expectations for weddings. In Western media, weddings typically highlight the bride and groom as they negotiate their desires for the big day. In the East, however, weddings are practically a showcase for parents to display the lavish future of their progeny and receive adoration from friends. (These days, there are even some couples who have two weddings – one in the Western tradition and one in the Eastern one – to appease themselves and their families equally.) However, for most of The Wedding Banquet, Western ideas of individualism and freedom of self-expression as exemplified by the gay couple and single female artist living in liberal New York City play second fiddle to the more traditional views of the older, Eastern parents, which are naturally imposed upon their short visit. But things don’t stay like that to the end. Eventually, there is a negotiation of desires that provide the film’s comedic conclusion.
The other remarkable thing about The Wedding Banquet is how it represents a mixed-race, gay couple on-screen. Wai-Tung and Simon are both young, attractive, affectionate, and in tune with each other. Simon is especially supportive of Wai-Tung, despite the drama of the in-laws coming to town. He is shown to be a perfect host, attentive “son,” and patient partner, always making sure things go smoothly behind the scenes. He cooks all the meals, but allows Wei-Wei to take credit for his efforts so that she appears to be the perfect future wife, which comforts the Gaos. He buys Wai-Tung’s parents thoughtful gifts, drives them safely home after the wedding, and gives physical therapy to the still-recovering patriarch. And he speaks Mandarin! A limited amount to be sure, but the effort to connect to Wai-Tung’s Taiwanese parents is there. Simon is clearly the ideally devoted son-in-law.
This can be seen in contrast to how Wei-Wei is treated by the elderly Gaos. They give her family heirloom jewelry, place choice bites of food on her plate, and are super impressed by her understanding of calligraphy. Meanwhile, Simon presents a heart monitor to Mr Gao and anti-aging cream to Mrs Gao while speaking broken Chinese, which confuses and mildly insults them. At dinner, he silently places food on their plates after carefully scraping away burnt bits – a result of Wei-Wei’s actual attempts at cooking. Later, he also calls the airport to make sure that his in-laws will have an easy time getting to their flight.
His earnestness pays off later when Wai-Tung comes out to his mother and when Mr Gao later reveals that he speaks English. The elderly duo then acknowledges and accepts Simon’s status as Wai-Tung’s partner in small, subtle ways, while still maintaining the illusion that aligns with their traditionalism. Mrs Gao clumsily inquires about Simon’s family and makes sure to tell her husband that Simon has cooked their meal. Mr Gao offers to wash the dishes to reciprocate the favour. Crucially, he gives a hongbao (a symbolic red envelope full of cash), originally given to Wei-Wei as a reverse dowry for taking care of Wai-Tung, to Simon, essentially accepting him as a son-in-law.
While The Wedding Banquet appears to end as a classic comedy where everyone gets what they want, there is one serious glaring fault that perpetuates the lie that everyone chooses to uphold: Wei-Wei, who has made clear of her attraction to her gay landlord from the start, essentially rapes a drunk Wai-Tung on their wedding night; it is later revealed that she becomes pregnant from this one sexual encounter. In the immediate aftermath, however, this assault is disappointingly swept under the rug as everything appears to be fine between the two of them the next day. Wai-Tung is not shocked or disgusted by being taken advantage of; he behaves as if he has forgotten all the details of the night other than the fact that it transpired.
This incident briefly sparks a shouting match between Wai-Tung and Simon, but it turns out that Simon is more upset about Wai-Tung having unprotected sex than he is about Wai-Tung having sex with a woman. This is assumed to be because Simon trusts his boyfriend, although it does also seem more like Simon has been getting antsy about not being able to go back to their normal lives while Wai-Tung’s parents decide to stay longer in their house, which means a fight was inevitable. Wei-Wei regrets the lies she has been telling the elderly couple who has been showing her so much kindness and generosity; she also feels guilty about hurting Simon’s feelings.
Despite what Wai-Tung, Simon, and Wei-Wei truly feel, Mr and Mrs Gao are exceedingly glad that their wish for offspring to continue the family name is basically fulfilled. In fact, Wai-Tung’s father admits he let his family members lie so that he could get a grandchild! Thus, in a too far convenient conclusion, the New York trio manage to work out their grievances by the end of the film, sending the in-laws back to Taiwan with a wedding photo album full of beautiful lies.
The Wedding Banquet achieves many notable things in its time: a fresh take on the wedding rom-com, positive representation of a gay couple, and an enjoyable showcase of Taiwanese culture. It’s amazing to learn that this was only Lee’s second film, which he both wrote and directed. However, it unfortunately fumbles when it comes to dealing with sexual assault, which casts a pall over the otherwise celebratory proceedings.